A warning tale for all teachers and aspiring teachers of reading. Mark well where Whole Language leads you…..GS
http://www.nrrf.org/satire_WL_at_Fork.html
by
Cathy Froggatt
Former NRRF North
Carolina Director
Right to Read
Report, February 1998
The purpose of this satire is to paint a clear picture of the
anguish experienced by hundreds of thousands of young Americans as they advance
through and leave school ill-equipped to handle the very real demands and
requirements of school and life beyond. Cathy has heard many of these experiences first hand.
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One day Dr. Goodguess died.
The Gatekeeper to the afterlife told him that before entering the afterlife,
he, like everyone, would be granted one wish to change one thing about his
previous life on earth.
"What a wonderful surprise!" Dr. Goodguess exclaimed. "My greatest regret in life was that I didn’t learn to read with Whole Language. As you undoubtedly know," he said, "I ‘mainstreamed’ that philosophy of reading into nearly every classroom in the English-speaking world."
"Your wish is
granted," responded the Gatekeeper. "From this moment on, you will
find that your brain has been altered. Now you will read the Whole Language
way. You must now travel down the path you see before you for a short distance.
There you will find a fork in the road. One path leads to Perdition, the other
to
Dr. Goodguess marched off
confidently until he reached the fork in the road. The left fork was marked
with a sign that said: "Perdition." The road to the right said:
"
As he stood there, a look of
puzzlement, and then worry spread over his face. He scratched his head and
thought, "They both start with ‘P’; now what do I do? I’ve always been a
risk-taker, but this is a frightfully important decision. I cannot make a
mistake."
Just then, another founder
of Whole Language, Dr. Sampler, died and stood before the Gatekeeper. "The
hallmark of my life," he told the Gatekeeper with pride, "was the
widespread influence my theories have had on reading instruction. I only wish
that I had actually learned to read in a manner consistent with my theories:
you know…naturally…without having to be forced to learn those
low level phonics sub-skills."
His wish was immediately
granted, and in a moment he joined Dr. Goodguess at the fork in the road.
"Thank goodness you’re here, Dr. Sampler," exclaimed Dr. Goodguess.
"I am in dire need of some cooperative learning."
"Why, Dr. Goodguess,
what is the matter? You look very distraught! What has happened to your
self-esteem?"
"Well, Dr. Sampler,
it’s these darn words-in-isolation. You’d think there would be at least one
picture clue somewhere?!"
"Hmmm, I see what you
mean, Dr. Goodguess. Oh, no! Both signs have words that start with the same
letter, and the words are about the same length."
As they stood pondering
their dilemma, the earthly life of a College Professor of Education came to an
end. As Professor Indoctrinate stood before the Gatekeeper, she stated with a
rather high degree of confidence: "I have been completely happy with my
earthly life. The life of a tenured professor, with the academic freedom it
brings, was near perfect bliss. I wouldn’t have changed a thing."
"So be it," said
the Gatekeeper, "but I’m afraid the fork in the road up ahead is becoming
choked with people. Perhaps you can assist them by bringing this "context clue"
to help them decide which path to take." With that, the Gatekeeper gave
her a sign that said: "Pandemonium."* "Take this sign with you and place it at the left fork in
the path. Do you understand?"
"Certainly," said
Dr. Indoctrinate, and she did as she was asked.
Needless to say, Drs.
Goodguess and Sampler were delighted to see help coming, but they were
immediately confounded when they found themselves with yet another
"P" word.
Professor Indoctrinate,
unwilling to provide any phonics information due to her thorough disdain for
such "lower order subskills," encouraged Drs. Goodguess and Sampler
to use the Whole Language cueing system they knew so well. In an attempt to
reassure them, she said, "Don’t be upset if you can’t read the signs just
yet. After all, reading is developmental. In time it will all begin to click,
maybe next year or the year after."
Now they knew they were in
need of a ‘real’ reading expert, particularly one who had been intensely
trained, preferably at
Fortunately, her extensive
training allowed her to quickly regain her composure and to focus on the
reading problems the gentlemen were experiencing. "I am sure I need not
remind you, gentlemen," she began, "that comprehension and
meaning-making are of primary importance when reading a word you have not seen
before. You must just answer the question: ‘What would make sense here?’"
With the path behind them
filling up with people impatiently awaiting their turn to pass through the
fork, Drs. Goodguess and Sampler cried out in despair, "What we
desperately need is more context!"
Just then they heard the
soft spoken voice of a child. A little six-year-old boy walked up to them,
looked at the sign on the right and said with great pride, "I was taught
to read with explicit, systematic phonics. I can sound out any word. The sign
on the right says ‘
Drs. Goodguess and Sampler
looked at each other with knowing smirks. Their need for context had surely
been met. Dr. Goodguess whispered excitedly, "Did you hear him say
‘explicit, systematic phonics’? The path he took must be the road to Perdition!
Quickly now, let’s take the other path!"
* Pandemonium is the capital of Hell in